


Of Pets and How We Deal With Them

by preetkiran1016



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Cats, Fluff, Genji ft. as a little shit, Hanzo cannot deal with this cat, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Jesse just wants them to get along, Kittens, M/M, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-02-19 10:05:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13121487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preetkiran1016/pseuds/preetkiran1016
Summary: Hanzo never really liked cats.However, Jesse loved cats. Which wouldn't matter, in the long run, expect for the fact that Jesse McCree owned a cat, and Hanzo was coming closer and closer to skinning the damn thing each and every day.





	1. Frayed Patience and Broken Chargers

**Author's Note:**

> Based off this amazing art work by samsationals, go check them out!!!!!
> 
> http://samsationals.tumblr.com/image/166083345666

Hanzo had never much liked cats. They were distant, skittish, never showing affection openly and just…generally cold. They never had the same charm as dogs did. 

However, Jesse McCree loved cats. Which wouldn't matter, in the long run, expect for the fact that Jesse McCree owned a cat, and Hanzo was coming closer and closer to skinning the damn thing each and every day.

The thing’s name was Snowflake. It was generally quiet. Didn't bother anyone else on base, stayed close to McCree. A fluffy, white puff-ball that loved everyone, and was always willing to play. Until Hanzo became a more constant fixture in McCree’s life.

That's when things went to shit. 

Somehow, Snowflake had determined Hanzo to be his enemy, vying for his owner’s attention. After a multitude of scratches and bites he had given up on entering Jesse’s room, and any treats he tried to bribe the monster with were met with angry growls and bitten fingers. The cat had bent a whole quiver of his arrows, turned three of his silk hair ties into ribbon, and, more recently, had taken up the habit of eating through or pissing on Hanzo’s electronics. 

Which was becoming more of an annoyance each and every day. 

Hanzo cursed, rummaging through the drawer. The mission tomorrow required use of his communicator, and his chargers had all been destroyed by the living hurricane that was his lover’s pet. Nor could he find his spare, and by the time he had turned over his entire room he was well and truly pissed. 

“Hey darlin’, found it yet?” McCree asked from the doorway, a lazy smirk across his face and a self assured cat laying across his shoulders. (The thing looked so smug, he seethed.)

“No such luck,” he grumbled, jaw tight as he paced to the opposite side of the room. “If it were not for your untrained savage I would not be in this situation.”

“Hey now, no need to get nasty.” Jesse sighed, straightening up as Snowflake jumped to the floor and waddled into a corner. Hanzo assumed he would be seeing a piss puddle soon and sighed, brows pinched together.

“Jesse, I think we’ve established that your cat hates me. The least you could do is keep it from abusing me any further,” he grumbled, tossing the last of his supplies into a duffle.

“Alright, alright. Just figured he would eventually warm up to ye’, is all.” Jesse shrugged, defeated. “I’ll keep closer watch on him- Snowflake, no!” 

Hanzo spun, vaulting over to the other side of his bed to find the beast chewing on his charger after dragging it out from under the bed.

“No.” He hissed, picking the cat up by the scruff and pulling on the charger with the other hand in a desperate bid to save it. “Let go, you damned cat-”

With a purr and a telling snap, the wire broke.

“That…was my last charger, you madman.” Hanzo hissed, looking down at the self-satisfied cat as it purred in response.

“Well...” Jesse started, unsure of what exactly to say. “At least he ain't bitin’ you.”

“Joy,” he grumbled, sighing in defeat as Snowflake began to lick his hand. 

At least he wasn't biting him, indeed.


	2. Tuna dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo tries to feed a cat. What could go wrong?

 

If anyone had Hanzo that he would one day buy cat food willingly, he would have laughed in their face. Now he could only groan in frustration, palms pressed firmly against his eyes as though  the never ending line of ‘kitty-cat snacks’ and ‘meow-licious’ canned food would disappear if he ignored it long enough. 

As it happened, the abominable Snowflake only ate one brand of cat food. Feline’s Favorite, expensive, fancy, and completely overpriced for the quality of the slop inside; and completely sold out in every Gibraltar pet store. How Jesse ever managed to get his hands on the cans was a mystery to Hanzo, especially all the years he was on the run after Overwatch’s fall.

Hanzo walked out of PetCo empty handed, glowering at the screen on his phone, thumb hovering over Jesse’s contact number. His boyfriend was still in mission, calling him for help on a task he had assured Jesse he would complete would be paramount to admitting failure. He was a master assassin, surely he could feed a cat for one week!

\-------------------------

He could not feed a cat for one week.

4 stores, amazon, and 5 Internet shops had all given him the same ‘sold out’ sticker across the item of his salvation. Time was running short, Genji had whispered horror stories of a irritably hungry Snowflake from his own cat-sitting experiences and Hanzo had no wish to suffer so after he was finally gaining some ground with the puff-ball. There had to be something. 

He had under an hour to feed a hungry cat.

Two grocery stores later Hanzo slide into Gibraltar base, a confident smirk spreading across his face as he began to cook. The tell tale _pat-pat_ of tiny paws confirmed his plan was successful, Snowflake curling at his feet.

 _“Flakes could eat a pound of tuna before stoppin’,”_ jesse had drawled one night, “ _I try not to spoil him too often, ain't very healthy for a cat to eat so much fatty food so I try an’ save it for special occasions.”_

Desperate times called for desperate measure. Jesse would be upset, but it was better than letting Snowflake starve until his owner finally came home. Hanzo shut the burners off, gently pushing Snowflake off his foot before he moved, transferring the cooling fish into Snowflakes bowl. The cat practically toppled into the wall before attacking his meal, startling a laugh from Hanzo. Yes, he could do this for a few more days.

“Ya spoiled him rotten.” Jesse hums, scratching Snowflake under his chin as the cat splayed across his lap. Hanzo pressed against his side, scoffing before scratching Snowflake behind the ears.

“It was not my fault every store in existence failed to stock his normal diet.” Hanzo huffed, “Besides, he seems to have enjoyed my care.”

Jesse laughed, wrapping his arm around Hanzo. “Trying to steal my cat, never thought I'd see the day.”

“After stealing your heart It is the next logical step.” Hanzo replied, pressing a kiss to Jesse’s cheek.

Jesse laughed, startling Snowflake out of his lap as he pulled Hanzo in for a kiss.

He could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. I havent posted anything in a while and am severely behind on my writing prompts. Have a silly fluff chapter??????


	3. Vet Visits and Ruined Cloths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo loves Snowflake a lot more than Jesse had thought he would. Which would be great, if it didn't mean stealing all his time. 
> 
> When kitten gets sick, and the boyfriends get concerned.
> 
> Ft. Genji as a little shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on mctiddiezo's amazing comic about Cats and Car trips tagged on their page under 'petwatch'. Do check them out, their art is amazing!!!
> 
> i do apologize for not naming the cat, cuddlewhore. that's my bad.

“Did you get my note.”

McCree yawned, squinting at his pissed off boyfriend. “Course I did. You taped it to my forehead when I was sleepin’.”

Hanzo responded with a grunt, crossed arms tensing. Jesse could see the muscles bulge for a moment before Hanzo moved out of his line of sight.

“And?”

“And what darlin?” Jesse sighed, “I called the vet yesterday, ain't no need to be pissy with me. Snowball ain't a fainting daisy, she hasn't puked since I gave her the medicine. We’ll get her checked out t’day, no point in frettin’.”

Hanzo muttered something under his breath as he coaxed Snowflake out of her hiding spot. She tended to curl up in a small nest of stolen favorites from their collective closet under the bed. Somehow Hanzo had stolen his cat from under his nose, through plenty of treats no doubt, Jesse groused. It was a lot better than the beginning of their relationship sure, but he had never expected them to bond this much.

“She vomited on your green serape.” Hanzo said, a grimace twisting his mouth as he carried the spoiled baby. “Get dressed, i’ll get the car ready.” Hanzo passed by him, leaving the room without a look back.

“Great.” Jesse groaned, tipping his head back to glare at the ceiling.

Sometimes, he thought, he wished Hanzo didn't love Snowflake so much. 

\-------

“Shotgun!!” Genji jumped into the car, laughing as he leaned back against the seat. Hanzo rolled his eyes, petting snowflake’s fur as she nuzzled up against his cheek. McCree started the car and pulled away, the old engine sputtering to life as they made their way into town. The vet had them penciled in for 3 pm, but they were out early so Genji could pick up the bases groceries for the week. McCree hummed under his breath, Snowflake’s purring a constant in the quiet car.

“She seems a bit fussy.” Hanzo said, ruffling the fur under her chin.

“Perhaps you’re suffocating her brother,” Genji teased, turning with ‘grabby hand’ motions. “Give her to Uncle Genji.”

Hanzo rolled his eyes, picking Snowflake up gently and passing her over into Genji’s hands. “Here, be careful with her.”

“Please, It’ll be fine.” Genji scoffed, holding Snowflake up and making small meowing sounds. “See? She’s fine.” He chuckled, holding her to her chest. “I told you i could take care of her." Genji cooed at Snowflake, running a hand over her back before pausing. "What is that sound?”

“That is her ‘let go of me’ sound. I’d suggest you do so.” Hanzo said, smugness tinging his voice.

“Alright, alright here--” Genji said, shifting slightly.

And then Snowflake decided to ruin Genji’s day.

“Shit shit shit!!!” Genji yelped, Snowflake puking into his lap in a giant torrent of green and yellow chunks.

The car went silent, the spillage dribbling from Genji’s lap onto the floor of the car in a constant 'drip-drip". The cat didn't much seem to care, jumping into the back of the car into Hanzo’s waiting arms. Jesse’s shoulders shook from trying not to laugh, a few stray chuckles slipping from his lips. Genji groaned, head falling into his hands as Hanzo began to laugh, the booming sound filling the car. McCree pulled over, laughing uncontrollably as he looked back at his boyfriend. A fond smile splitting his face.

“I love this cat!”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @ preetkiran1016


End file.
